daftlypunk:

i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”



human:

YOU CANT SPRINT WITH US

My thighs are huge cuz they’re full of secrets

Wrap them around my ears and let me hear them all

Smooth as fuck

(Source: lnvocation)



a-lesbillion:

thechangelingmedusa:

Like seriously, why isn’t pole dancing an olympic sport? This is freakin gymnastics. This is strength and skill. This is not sexual whatsoever. Why does pole dancing have to be so stigmatised as a sexual thing that only strippers do? I have great respect for all people who can pull this off. This is art and beauty right here. 

Good lord, the fluidity of her movement is mind-bending, jfc

  • Me: *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
  • girl: ....who?
  • me: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*






behayaa:

Stay so busy you don’t have time to be sad.

(Source: erfisperf)




deepbreathsanddeath:

This is a real panda
China has this “panda diplomacy” and this one will be sent to Japan as an friendship envoy. For the safety reason he sits as a passenger with his feeder, not in a cage. Fastening the seat belt, wearing a diaper, eating bamboos








(Source: istillgotmymoney)